Boredom 2: The torture of Relena
by g3nesis1
Summary: Although Boredom 1 is not done yet, I just thought up another. My other friend and I were bored on Yahoo Messenger, so we decided to do it.. It is very funny, its a bashing on Relena, BIG TIME..
1. Default Chapter

"Heeeeeeeeeeroooooooooo!!!" Relena screamed, running up to Duo. "Hey, where's Heero?"  
Duo looked behind him. "Uh, um.. uh, I don't know. Why don't you go annoy, oops, I mean talk to Wufei?"  
"Okay.." Relena screamed, skipping off in Wufei's direction.  
Trowa looking confused. "Duo thats not nice to set that girl on poor Wufei."  
Duo took a step closer to him. "Well, it was either him, or us... Which one?" Heero jumped out behind Duo.  
"good thought.. Hi Heero"looking slightly ammused.  
"If it was up to me..." Trowa paused. "Him." He paused again, looking at where Heero was standing. "Heero, what were you doing back there?"  
Heero looked at Trowa's expression and wapped him on the head. "Hiding, you baka!"  
"Ow, that hurt." Trowa whinned.  
"Oh, stop your whinning," Duo told him. "Its time to go get popcorn, and go watch Relena bother Wufei.. from a distance. Don't wanna get caught in the crossfire.  
Quatre laughing from his spot by the window, "i'd hurry."  
"Okay," Heero said, "its not funny watching someone suffer." He yelled, sternly. "It's hilarious..." Everyone laughed. "Qautre, get the popcorn, Duo, get the blanky, Trowa, go pick a good spot."  
"What are you going to do?" Trowa asked.  
Heero got a frustrated look on his face. "Laugh, what did ya think?"  
Duo looking at Heero. "All your going to do is laugh while we do the work ?? Not on my watch mister," smirking lightly.  
Heero looks at him " what do you have in mind?"  
Duo raised an eyebrow. Then, winked.  
Heero blushing violently. "i didn't mean it like that Duo."  
"You didn't?" Heero shook his head. "DOHT!" was heard all across the land.  
"Okay," said Duo. "Just go laugh AND find a spot. Trowa, come help me get the blanky."  
"Blanky?" Trowa mocked.  
Duo gave him the loathe look. "Yes, the fucking blanky.."  
"Ok, i'll do it." Looking disapointed, Heero walks off to find the perfect spot.  
"Blanky?" Trowa still mocked, walking off with Duo.  
A few minutes later, all of them were under a tree, in the dark shade watching Wufei chase Relena around a tree with his kitana. "Poor, poor Wufei," Quatre spoke.  
"Poor Wufei?? " laughed Heero.  
"Blanky?" Trowa still asked Duo. "Will you shut up about the fucking blanky! Its a blanket!"  
"It's about time he deals with her!" Heero remarked. "I am getting sick of her always asking where i am! I bet ya twenty bucks Wufei knocks her unconscious!" Heero told them.  
Quatre was surprised. "Heero!"  
"What, what did I do?" "Nooooooo, Wufei don't hurt me please?" Relena wined.  
"Come back here you bitch!" Wufei screamed. "Stupid Onna, don't ever come and ask where Heero is I can't stand you and neither can he!"  
"No," Relena cried. "It's not true."  
Wufei then, saw Heero and the rest of them laughing at him. "Actually, dear Relena," he took her by the arm. "Heero loves you.. You see that tree, right there?" He pointed.  
"Uh, oh." Duo whimpered. "I think he's telling her where we are.." Heero stopped laughing. "Oh, shit. He is! YOU BASTRD!" He screamed.  
"Heero? Is that you?" She ran over to the trees, while everyone was running.  
"Whose laughing now, baka yaros!" Wufei laughed.  
"I will get him back for this," Duo said, running beside Heero. Heero agreed. "Tonight. Right now, just RUN!"  
"I'll get you for this BOY!" Trowa exclaimed.  
Wufei was on the ground, literally laughing his ass off when Sally Po came running up.  
"Chang, what the hell are you laughing at?"  
"what is every ONNA going to come up to talk to me?? INJUSTICE!"  
"Are you getting a tone with me, young man? I will paddle you!" Sally threatened.  
"No, masta. Me, no I'm not getting a tone wit ya... no way.." In his mind, Wufei was thinking: "FUCKING ONNA! NO ONE BOSSES ME AROUND! I'LL KILL YOU! INJUSTICE!"  
"Your thinking outloud.. young man.." Sally Po turned around, with a paddle in her hand. Slapping it against the other.  
Still running away from Relena. Duo remembers and takes out his gun from his pocket and points it at her. "Stay away from my man"  
"Buring it..." Relena throws her head.  
"Its already been buroughten, Bitch!" Duo throws his gun to the ground, and takes ahold of Relena's hair.  
Heero looks back and yells, "CATFIGHT!" Trowa, Qautre, and Heero stand watching Duo beat the hell out of Relena.  
He finally threw her to the ground, and said, "That's why he's my man!" 


	2. Why not?

"uhhhhh" relena on the ground.  
Relena slowly got up from the ground with tears in her eye. "Duo," Qautre said, "that was unnecessary!"  
"Was not!" Duo exclaimed. Duo pouts. "Stupid onna,: sounding very much like Wufei.  
"Okay, Wufei!" Trowa laughed. Duo began to chase Trowa.  
"Get back here, asshole!" Duo screamed, chasing him into the house.  
"Those two!" Heero said, like a father watching his sons fighting.  
"Boys will be boys!" Quatre told him, Heero agreed, closing the front door behind him.  
Wufei still getting pattled "I'm sorry......."  
"Well, its not good enough. When I bought you, I was promised not to have problems like this.." Sally exclaimed. Wufei was angered. "What problems? I'm tired of stupid onnas bothering me! I hate it! Fuck you! Fuck Relena.."  
"Oh, so you wanna do that, do you?" Sally asked. She was horny, he knew it. He gulped when he finally heard in his head what he had said.  
"Oh, great." He thought to himself, as Sally dragged him into the bushes with his pants down.  
All you heard from the bushes is, "Is that stuff?" (inside joke)  
Back in the house, Duo is still chaseing Trowa around.  
"You know, Duo.... this is getting... mighty tireding..." Trowa breathed, as he got a bit of a rest. Duo was out of breath and so was he.  
"I'll get you back for that!" Duo exclaimed.  
"Yeah.. sure.." He breathed again.  
Heero looks at them and smiles a rare smile. "Duo come over here!" he orders.  
Duo falls on the floor, on his back and looks up to Heero. "What do you want baka?"  
"hmmm what do i want?" Heero hinted.  
"Oh so now you want it! Goddamnit, I'm too damn tired now! I'll do ya later! Kay?" Duo sighed.  
Heero saw the sweat pouring from Duo's temple and bent down. He licked Duo's forehead. "Ready now?"  
Duo's eyes got big. "YES!" He screamed, jumping up with enthusiasm and taking his clothes off while running to the bedroom.  
"Well, we know what their doing!" Quatre laughed. "Wanna do the same?" Trowa raised an eyebrow.  
"Why not?" He said, as they both raced up the stairs to their bedroom. 


	3. Oscar Meyer Weiners

Heero walked in the base with his fists tightly clenched. Relena was not to far behind. "I'll love you and kiss you, and hug you, and pet you." Heero got to the living room when his face turned red. "Will you shut the fuck up, Relena! I don't give a shit! Go bother Wufei again. He needs to be annoyed.."  
Relena pouted. "I don't wanna get chased again and i love you!"  
Heero's eyes went blank, as he fell to the ground.  
Duo heard a thump. "What the hell was that?" He asked himself as he heard Relena scream, "Heero!" Duo sat up, smelling Relena. "I smell..." He sniffed again. "Bitch.." He rushed to the living room, and tackled Relena. "Didn't I tell you to stay away from him?" Duo yelled, ripping her hair out. When Quatre finally got Duo off her, she was bald.  
"Duo stop be nice and leave her alone!" Quatre yelled.  
Quatre raised Duo up, and let Relena up, not looking at her hair. She put her hands to her bald head, and started to cry. Quatre looked to her head, and smiled behind his hand.  
Wufei suddenly walked in and looked at Relena from the back. "Hey, Sally.." He looked to her face. "Oops, sorry. Woh, wait a min. What the hell happened to Relena, She's bald!"  
Duo threw her blonde hair to the floor. "Well, atleast we can't call her stupid blonde anymore."  
They all began to laugh, as Heero began to come to. Relena rushed out of the door, crying her eyes out.  
"uhhhhhhhhhhh what hit me?" Heero moaned. Duo looked at him " are you ok sweetie?"  
"What hit me?" Heero asked again.  
Duo paused. "Relena's face.. It scared you so bad, you fell unconscious." "Don't call me that BAKA"Heero snapped. Wufei laughed.  
"Ugh." Duo moaned.  
"Its not like they dont know, Heero. I'm sure they heard us last night.." Heero blushed.  
Wufei looked to Trowa and Quatre, they all walked away, slowly and silently.  
"It was better than ours," Trowa whispered. But Quatre heard it, and slapped him on the back of the head.  
Wufei went to the kitchen and looked in the freezer. "Who wants hot dogs for dinner?" "Well, they were louder than us hun!" Mutters trowa.  
"Their oscar meyer weiners!" Wufei yells again.  
Trowa yells. "I want a winner!"  
"You got a naked winner, isnt that good enough?" Wufei laughs.  
Quatre looks at him. "He ain't getting one tonight. He might get 'better' from the couch." "Ouch,you got burnt!"Duo jokes.  
"He might just have company!" Heero hints Duo.  
Duo gulped loudly and went to sit on the couch like a good boy.  
Heero just laughs while Wufei just continues to cook the hot dogs. "Boys be good..INJUSTICE," He screams.  
"Great, what did you do?" Heero asked him, while cutting the buns. "Burn them?" "Oh, shut up and fix your buns!" Wufei shoots back.  
Heero looks to his ass. "They are fixed." Duo looks down at the floor. "Do you think the boys are serious?"  
Trowa looks at him. "Yea."  
"DOHT!" Duo screamed, running into the kitchen. "Please, Heero. I'll be good. Don't make me sleep out on the couch, please? I'll do anything! Anything at all!" Heero looked at Duo, begging on the floor. "Anything? Hmmmm???"  
Duo gulped once more, and hesitatively nodded yes.  
Heero put his hand to his chin. "Okay, go in the room, put on the 'L' and I'll be in there in a minute." Duo looked confused. "The.. 'l'? Whats that?" Heero looked suprised. "DUO," He yelled. "The 'L'!" Heero raised an eyebrow, and Duo got the idea.  
"Oh, oh.." He slowly got up. "The," gulp, "'L'".  
Wufei blinked while he put the hot dog on the bread. "The 'L'?" He asked himself. "What the..." His eyes got big.."Oh," He said. "Leather." Wufei smiled do to the thought. But, he was glad Heero didn't hear him. He didnt want to wear the... 'L.' 


	4. Games of Hide and Seek and Horsee

The rooster crowed as the sun peered over the horizon. Duo's eyes popped open at first light.  
"Ow.oh..ow..ohh..oww.." He said, painfully walking to the bathroom.  
"WILL SOMEONE SHUT THAT COCK UP?" Wufei yelled from upstairs.  
Duo heard, but was glad that it didn't wake Heero up. Nothing was 'supposed to wake Master up before noon.  
He slowly walked to the kitchen and got himself some coffee. He looked to the table where the Oscar Meyer weiners laid. There was a pale, white substance over them, and they were burnt. He didn't dare touch them. "ugh.." Heero moaned, pushing himself up from the soft, warm mattress where his and his lovers body laid. "I need to stop having those Relena dreams. They're scary. Hey.." he paused. "Where's my slave? DUO"  
"eep.." He gulped. "Yes, master?"

"Sally...sall." Wufei spoke in his sleep. All of a sudden, a picture came into his dreams that all men fear and dread, the picture all men hide from, the picture of Relena. He woke up screaming, with a pair of pink lingeree in his grasp. "Pink?" He asked himself, "sally doesn't wear..." He paused. "No.. please no.. please no.." He said, looking behind him. He closed his eyes as he threw his hands to the bed. No one? "Thank the gods.." He said to himself. "Phew..." He swiped the sweat from his forehead. "Well, time to get dressed." As he stepped down to the black carpeting of the floor, he noticed something he hadn't before. Pink clothes. "No.." he said. "It has to be another nightmare. It has to be. Someone pinch me"  
"Okay.." a womanish voice came from behind his closet door. "But you have to let me outta here first. I had fun playing 'horsee' last night!"

FLASHBACK: "HORSEE! HORSEE! HORSEE!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Wufei screamed, scratching at his skin. "MUST GET TOXIC OFF OF SKIN!" He screamed, rushing toward the bathroom. "Hello?" Relena knocked at the door. "Come on, let me out. This game of hide and seek is VERY long!" 


End file.
